Thanksgiving

I'm gonna tell you this flat out, sometimes my life sucks. I know that there are kids out there who are forced to be slaves and prostitutues, and are homeless, orphaned or starving. Yet in my world, here in America, my life is no where near perfect. I don't get good grades, I mess up frequently putting my relationships in jepordy, I fail at lots of things I try, I get very depressed for periods of time, and sometimes I feel devestaingly alone. And I know what your thinking right now, 'Traditional teenage angst, she's being a drama queen,' Wait, hold on, I'm not done yet. I have more to say. I am one of the most fortunate people you will ever meet.You know why? Because I have something so many people out there sadly are missing. I have Jesus Christ. And even though my life is not easy, I know that God will never give me more than I can handle. So deep down in my heart I have Joy.

Be thankful not FOR all things, but IN all things.

Poem

A while back I read this book about a girl who was abused by her boyfriend, and this poem kind of came to me. It's not that great, but I thought I would share it. (:



If there was one thing I would never miss
It would be the gleam in his eyes
When he looked at me

If there was on thing I would never miss
It would be the sting of his hand
When it made contact with my skin

If there was on thing I would never miss
It would be the sound of his voice
As he struggled, and failed to keep it calm

If there was on thing I would never miss
It would be the fear in my voice
As I talked to him daily

If there was on thing I would never miss
It would be the constant struggle
To keep him happy at all costs, lest he lash out again

If there was on thing I would never miss
It would be the anxiety that would build in my chest
As I anticipated his arrival

If there was on thing I would never miss
It wouldn’t be him
Because without him, I don’t feel whole

Don't talk to me

Because I don't want to hear it

I'll block my ears to shut you out

I know friends are here to share burdens

But when sharing becomes gossip

I'm through listening to you

Stop.

That's my friend your talking about

Bet you wouldn't say that to her face.

Well it's not much different when you say it to mine.

Why don't you remeber how it felt when you eavesdropped

On somone gossiping about you

Heart shattered.

Friendships gone.

Stop.

It.

Please.

I can't stand being with you anymore.

You have nothing worthwhile to say.

I'll walk away.

I won't tilt my ears back to catch another word.

I'm done.

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That wasnt supposed to be a poem or anything. Just something I had to say.

Just an URGENT Reminder, That Doesn't Concern Most Of You

BRIANNA WRITE YOR PARTS!

That is all.

TGIWF (Thank God It WAS Friday)

Last night was the strangest night of sleep I've gotten in a long time. I kept waking up, once to go to the bathroom and once to let the cat in, once to talk to my dad, and once to put on some PJ's. When I woke up and went to the bathroom...nothing seemed real, it was strange. I guess I was just half asleep. I was so totally and completely exasuted but I couldn't fall into a restful sleep. I was tossing and turning all night. It is now 9:58 AM and my whole body aches from attempting sleep in weird positions. Ughhh...
---
Now, why was I so sleepy? There are a few answers to that, a) I am horribly, uncurable, deathly Ill and I was on my death bed last night, or b) I had waaaaay to much caffeine last night and used up all my energy in a 2 hour period. I love Youth Group.

[If actions speak louder than words...so do pictures]

Math

So I get my test back today and I look at it and burst out laughing. Wanna know what I got? Okay, I'll tell, but you have to beleive me. Deal? Alright then. So, I flip it over and it's layin' there in red ink, BAM, 38. Way to go Jaina right? So everyones asking my grade and frankly, I could care less what they think so I'm showing them and they're laughing along with me. (I would post my grades up here, but I dont wanna bore you.) I'm re-taking it though so it'll all work out in the end. Maybe. I wonder if you can re-take the re-take. Huh.

Friday :)

Grounded or not, I went out Friday to take this picture. To gorgeous to just be forgotten I say. Believe it or not, this was right outside my house. Yeah, suprised eh? I was too. Anways, also on friday was Character Day at school (I was about 4 hours late, for reasons I will not post on the internet), and then Youth Group went to another Church where Mike Timlin (Time Miklin...hehe) was speaking. Unfortunatley, sitting next to Sophie brings out my sillier side. Or I bring out Sophie's, I don't know. Point is, we could not pay attention. We ended up laughing at things that weren't even that funny. I think I had low blood sugar, so techinacally it's not even my fault. But...I had fun. So, it was all good. :)

Why is is So Hard?

To maintain friendships? There's nothing wrong with wanting to make new friends, and I won't ever abandon my old ones. (This isn't about any of my Youth Group Girliess) When about 20 new kids come into your class, your bound to make new friends arent you? And I want to, but my other friends feel like I'm abandoning them. I can tell. And I'm not, honestly...but do you know that feeling where you spend lots of time with someone and then you just need some space. It's like that with some of the people at school, and I still like then of course...but you just need some space.

Music

Hmmm, I wonder...is too much music an issue? Because, gee, I hope not. I pretty much love RELIENT K, Anberling & TFK now, oh yeah and RELIENT K. How about to much reading? Like is reading about 40 books since June a problem? (And like...150 comic books at least) I don't think so. Unless it interferes with my school work right? Hah. That's a good one...

Come on.

I mean really, we get up before the sun comes up when especially at this age we need lots of sleep, we drag ourselves to school where were forced to stay still and quite for 7 hours, while shoving practically useless information into our craniums, then at the end of class say "Be sure to remeber that...theres a test." Thanks. Then they give us like 2 hours of homework so that we have no personal time. (Especially with those who take sports), and then once we admit defeat and fall into bed...the cycle starts over. I mean, come on. This is by far the dumbest way of educating kids. If there was someplace else to go...I would leave LCA & never come back.

Guess what? BRIANNA's here.

This is my color [Brianna]
And, uh, this is mine [Jaina, duh...]
I am currently a resident in Jaina's household. Well not a resident...more like a temporary occupant.
Temporary..hah! YOUR NEVER LEAVING ME! Not in 34,098,998 years! AH! NO! [Heheh...Doughnuts]
That's slightly creepyish. I'm not sure how to respond to that remark. Uhhmmm...
Oh THANKS alot. You're a ... a... um, POOP. Yes, thats the word. A Poop with hair ripped out of her scalp.
[Don't ask] YOU DID NOT JUST STEAL MY WORD! Readers, please take this into consideration: Jaina is a word-stealer. A WORD THIEF I TELL YOU!
[Heh.] Oh, OH YEAH! Well, then, please present some evidence to the public/readers.
I just took a nice lap around the kitchen, retrieved an apple and I COME BACK TO THIS?! Psshhh, pfffttt,...psshhh. Jaina is a notorious thief/stealer/robber of words. Beware!
Okay, so you caught me. I walk around town and steal the words out of peoples mouths...and stuff them in my bag. YOU WILL NEVER FIND THEM! NEVER I SAY! NEVER!!
Actually, I know where your secret stash of stolen words is hidden. Right upstairs, walk 5 paces forward in your room, turn left and walk four paces, turn left again, two paces, turn right, walk into the closet, and BAM right there is a whole shelf of journals. That's right people, she stores her stolen words in journals to make it look like they were her words all along. What a kniving little...poop.
-Silence- Curses foiled again! -Runs upstairs and takes journals, shoves them into a big duffel bag, opens the window...and jumps out. Then runs away to the dessert where the journals will be buried under dust and dirt-
She runs to the dessert huh? Where ice cream and brownies flourish?
[Jaina is now in the desert and is mentally sending Brianna messages to type for Jaina] No, just Chocolate.
...Can I come?
Sure! See you in 3 minutes!
*BRIANNA TELEPORTS* Hey.
Hey, what are you doing here...?
You invited me doofus. Dunce. Imbecile. Ignoramous.
OH, that's RIGHT. I lost my train of thought. -Points- LOOK! See? There it goes!
No, silly. That's the poop train. The train of thought is over there! -points-
Oh yeah! -Bird flys down and stabs Jaina in the heart. Jaina Falls DOWN DEAD*
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...*gasp, gasp*OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Wait...Wait..Just...one last thing...Brianna...tell...my Best Friend...shes my best friend
I think that in the moments where your brain and bodily functions are in the process of going haywire and then shutting down, you must've forgotten that I am Brianna. Right here. Hellooo?
Right...I knew that... -Eyes roll up...and heart stops-
I quote myself: "Ew, that's gross."
-Jaina's spirt comes down in a glorious burts of color- BRIANNA! YOU HAVE BEEN A BAD GIRL NOT GREIVING OVER YOUR BEST FRIEND! YOU SHALL NOW BE THROWN INTO...DAVEY JONES LOCKER!
Oh no...not Davey Jone's locker. I better start grieving. Excuse me while I go grieve over here.
Tis to late!
My elbows are scabby.
Mine too! Let's go have PLASTIC SURGERY!
Abbbb and Upprqut!
-Skip away happily to have surgery done on their ELBOWS.-

Pirates!